Onyxlunacy

     :  Poetry                 :   About                       :   Contact                      :    Sound Byte Archive

         

 

6.3.08

    Cleaning Up

        Its been a little over a month since my last post. I know, I'm a heathen. Hate me later though, because I've been so busy the last month that when I did finally have a day to rest, I decided to use it to sleep and play Oblivion instead of writing entries in here. Actually, there were two entries that I typed up, both having to do with graduating and moving on and being excited for college, but they felt so mundane that I didn't have the heart to post them. So instead, I'm speeding through that period of time with a few simple sentences: I graduated. I partied. Now its time to saddle up for college.

         Although I still have about a month and a half before I leave, so I'm going to mostly be working and taking a few vacations. I leave next week for Lake Placid, and about a month after that I'm going to Saranac lake. In-between I'm going to be working at a counseling office filing paperwork and things like that.

         Anyway, over the next few days there is going to be some hardcore Independence day celebrations around town. It might have something to do with living just a stone's throw away from Philadelphia, but the whole area that I live in going just about nuts near the fourth of July. So its going to be a full schedule of parades, fireworks, barbeques, and sparklers. Have a great holiday!

        

       

5.23.08

     Not Sure

         I take twenty minutes out of every day to walk around town. I started doing this a week or so ago, when I had a lot of stuff going on and I needed to get out of my house. When things get slow I get jittery, like I need to move, and my nerves start to frizz around the edges. Early on, the walks spanned for over four hours, but began to even out a bit. Now my nerves aren't so bad, and I can sit still for more then ten minutes at a time, but I've grown to like the habit.

          The walks were rain or shine, and usually around the same time. Which meant that as the days went by, I got insight into the lives of people who live around me. I always saw the same two pre-teens skipping down one street, and I usually passed a teacher and his son strolling down another. People were coming home from work around the same time and the same people were populating a local coffee shop. I know which outdoor cats belong to which houses, and how many of those cats are friendly.

         I've mentioned before how much I hate feeling like I'm missing out on seasonal changes and nature. For the last few weeks I feel like I'm getting back to a part of my life that I enjoy.

         On a side note, I have a new music list for everyone to check out, if they're interested.

 

    Samson- Regina Spektor

    White Houses- Vanessa Carlton

     The World Spins Madly On- The Weepies

     Easy/Lucky/Free- Bright eyes

     Four Winds- Bright eyes

     Emergency- Paramore

     Dogs- Damien Rice

          Listen, and be merry.

      All my love,

             Onyx

         

5.18.08

   Some Honesty

          Hey everyone, its been a long while since I've posted. Once again, I have missed the anniversary of this website's beginning, so onyxlunacy.com turned two without any recognition at all. Sorry baby!

          A lot has changed over the last two years, most of that change occurring away from the eyes of the readers who have never met me, and no thanks to the minimal amount of information about me on the blog, many readers weren't let in on these changes. Many people may not have noticed them at all.

          I won't go in to what things were like when all of this began- I was a different person then, not in a dramatic "I have since made a miraculous turnaround" way, but in a "I hadn't yet formed completely into who I am now" way. I was very young when this all started, young and much more naive then I am now. Not saying that I'm not naive now- I'm naive enough to pull a map out in the middle of a city and not to tell off an obvious scammer in the middle of a city- but I recognize the scams now (for the most part). That was a digression, its a story for another day.

           Basically what I've been working around is that while I was changing and going through a lot of stuff in real life, I never went out and shared these things on the website. This maintained my privacy, yes, but I never really got the feeling of self-expression I wanted, although I was at the time, happy with how things were going. Because, while I joked about wanting readers and comments and all those things, I was okay if I didn't get visits. It made it all that more exciting when there was a 5 second hit from Dubai.

            But in a month I'm graduating from high school. I'm still not going to say where, but I am leaving a huge chapter of my life behind and heading up to the New York area to go to college. This means I'm moving out of my home, leaving friends I've had for almost 13 years, and being completely responsible for myself. And I'm going to be honest here- I'm scared pretty much shitless. As much as I want to have more freedom and become more independent, there has always been a part of me who never expected to get this far. I've always had a feeling like I would just be a high school student perpetually. Like college was a joke teachers told to get us to work harder, but really we would never leave.

             The last few weeks I've been having trouble sleeping, because my dreams switch between the weeks prior to graduating high school and the opening weeks of college. Even mentally I am stuck between two very different realities. Its scary, but so exciting. Right now I'm excited, a week ago I wanted to cry whenever I thought about it. It changes a lot, and I expect it will change again in a few days or maybe even an hour.

             To close this up, I suppose I really just wanted to open up this website to some huge events going on in my life, things that are going to impact everything. I didn't want to continue to have to hide certain things. So those of you who had an expectation spoilt or unfounded, please continue on my journey with me anyway. I'd love to have you.

 

All my love,

     Onyx

4.16.08

   Not A Very Long Week.

          I know I haven't been posting anything of substance for the last few months. I wish I could change that, but I haven't stopped running around since school started in September (not to mention the craziness from the summer before that) so the things I used to do in my free time has taken a serious backseat to everything else I have going on. Which is something we like to call life, and that won't change. However, when I look out my window and realize that the tree outside has flowers on it, which means I missed almost a week of it being nearly in bloom, I can't help feeling like I'm missing the world around me. I miss the outdoors, being able to take part in the world that was created for me to live in. So much of my time is spent in man-built institutions that I can't help but to feel trapped sometimes, as if too many hours are spent behind concrete bricks.

         On a separate note, I've become very uncomfortable with my poetry lately, because I've studied poetry seriously for the first time and I've come to realize that how I write is different from the styles I've been seeing. Strangely enough, in a class I have that acts almost as a counterpart to the class that I'm studying poetry in, I am reading my poems and being greeted with general approval. I only bring this up because I'll probably clean out the poetry section some time soon, if not remove it altogether while I try to figure out what's going on. Sometimes my human brain can't decide which part of me to believe.

        Lastly, before I disappear for another two weeks, I wanted to discuss my latest art project, which is different from all of the ones I've ever done before. I am creating a large board, which I hope to fill with love notes written from one person to another. I'm opening this up to my friends first as a test, asking them to write to their friends, boyfriend/girlfriends, parents, siblings, or anyone they know who they love in some way, romantically or otherwise. In a few days I want to open it up to anyone who wants to be involved. (Which means if I have any readers who are interested, feel free to drop an e-mail or a comment in the Contact section).  This project will be displayed at a show through my school at the end of next month. The notes can be written anonymously if it is wished, and the person the note is directed to does not have to be written on the note. When the project is finished, I'll try to post photos.

All my love,

-Onyx

P.S. I know for the last few years, since the beginning actually, the penname Onyx has been signed to this site, mostly for the purpose of maintaining anonymity. But I feel a little bit like I'm able to hide too comfortably behind a fake identity, and I may be changing the penname decision soon. Time will tell, as I flip-flop on the decision continuously, as I have for months.

4.13.08

   Taking A Break

          Nothing to post right now, look for me in a week or so!

3.27.08

     100 Things I'd Like To Do: Part 3

          numbers 41-60

41. Watch every Lord of the Rings movie, in order, without stopping.

42. make a chain of paper cranes

43. Publish a few of my poems somewhere as a mini collection

44. Create a wall-sized collage

45. Find a creative purpose for the memory boxes I've kept

46. Fill my bookshelves with books I want to read

47. Write a letter on an old-fashioned typewriter.

48. Make a sculpture taller then myself. 

49. Throw a Great Gatsby themed party

50. Get my own Library card

51. Swing on a tire swing

52. Learn how to play Chinese checkers

53. Stand on every continent (the inhabitable ones)

54. Make my own curtains

55. Live in South America for six months

56. Work disarming land mines in Cambodia

57.  Finish one of my books

58. Write a screenplay

59. Learn how to change a tire

60. Go to SxSw

3.25.08

     Eating Grenades

          I wanted to post a poem I wrote last night up here for a little while, before I retired it to the poetry section.

 

Eating Grenades.

 

Our fingernails scrape the dull, hapless ridges.

Dead skin left behind where the grooves fall and rise.

They’re eating grenades

Out where the watermelon and the cantaloupe won’t ripen,

And the seeds taste like

Coins scraped from the bottoms

Of the fountain of youth.

We have no youth,

Only shadows of role models,

Fall in where our leaders leave off,

Leaking bombastic garbage to the ones

Who save up to buy their lies

Printed on newsprint, printed.

Another tree wasted.

They’re eating grenades

Out in the dust and the gloom where the sun doesn’t shine,

Where a parasol covers the entire horizon,

And that parasol is black from the soot and deceit

That flows from our leaders like blood from the ones who are

Eating the grenades we throw at them.

We’re eating grenades,

Taking it all in without taking anything in at all.

Our two-fingered waves and winks fall short of the appropriate greeting,

The way things should be done.

We’re just drinking it all in, asking for seconds in our hungry culture,

Just glad we could lap up someone else’s lap cat.

They want us to be lap cats.

They’re feeding grenades,

Out there farther then we can see or hear or smell or taste,

Out there in the forgotten land,

Where our sun doesn’t shine

Where our newsprint ran out of ink and instead of hearing the stories they live them,

Over and over again they live them and breathe them and choke on our grenades.

Everyone is eating grenades,

Everyone is swallowing dust and teeth and lies.

No one is safe from the range of the grenade,

No amount of hiding and ducking and covering and praying will

Take away the affect of the grenade.

We must all watch these grenades, will them to go away.

When will we learn,

To throw the grenades back,

To the one who makes them?

 

-Onyx

Please note all poems are protected under a Creative Commons License, as seen at the bottom of the page.

3.24.08

     Vacation (Updated!)

          As I said before I left, I was going on a vacation to Orlando a few weeks ago. While I was in Orlando, I hit the traditional tourist stops; Disney World, Animal Kingdom, Epcot, and Universal. Now imagine me jumping up and down repeatedly like a little girl... that's how excited I was.

          You see, I've never been to Disney World before. And because I'm just so damn excited, I'm posting pictures.

                

          Just a few pictures, though. Mostly because people I know (myself included) are in all of the other ones, and posting them would put a cork in that whole online safety thing.

          All in all, I had a blast. Epcot was my favorite, even though it down poured the entire time I was inside. I loved visiting each of the countries and going through the shops. Japan and China were my favorites, but France was definitely pretty cool too.

P.S. Pay close attention to the Sound Byte sidebar, there are some big things going on!

P.P.S. I found this entry by Sarah Brown to be intriguing:

-Onyx

3.23.08

     Unfair

          It feels unfair not to post for so long, and then to post only two lists when I get home. Don't get used to this sort of treatment, though. I'm a co-director for a local play, which means I'm going to disappear for extended periods of time, yet again. Honestly, how could anyone ever put up with me?

         It has been really nice to be home though, to wake up with my cat next to me and sun shining through my bedroom window. If you get the chance, don't take that sort of thing for granted. The things I tend to miss the most when I'm busy are the simplest things; The weather, the news, and inner thought.

          Its true; when I find myself running here and there more often then I am in one place, thinking, I lose the really important basics. The sun and rain become exact replicas of one another, cold and hot bounce off my skin without a second thought, and flowers bloom without me even noticing that the stalk was beginning to bud. Suddenly, I am missing entire protests and people are dying and I don't know it. My opinions take a back seat to my robotic schedule, where to be and where to stand and what my cues are. I'm busy with things that make me happy, but miss the calm, the ability to breathe and write and process. When everything is stripped bare, those are the things that are important to me. My center, where I am mentally, that is more important to me then any schedule. The World, The Earth, those are extensions of myself, and they are more important then My center, my self.

          My goal from today on is to not forget these things again.

All my love,

      Onyx

3.23.08

     100 things I'd like to do: Part 2

          Number's 21-40

21. write an article for a newspaper

22. make my own mug

23. showcase a piece of artwork

24. collect 20+ pins/buttons

25. sketch bridges from foreign cities

26. Fly a kite

27. Shop in an antique store

28. participate in Free Hugs!

29. grow an herb garden

30. learn calligraphy

31. Keep a plant alive for over a year

32. solder a piece of jewelry

33. Work in a museum

34. Put my minimal knowledge of French to good use

35. Celebrate a birthday in another country

36. light sparklers for the Near Year

37. Buy a fish and name it Meiko

38. pet a Giraffe (again!)

39. make my own pair of gloves

40. Get a comment on one of my Flickr photos.

3.16.08

     100 things I'd like to do: Part 1

          Number's 1-20 (no particular order)

1. Watch a sunrise

2. Carve my name into a tree

3. Have a Peacock-themed Christmas tree

4. See Damien Rice in concert

5. make a stuffed animal

6. Paint a mural in a public place

7. Own a coffee shop

8. Live in San Diego for a year

9. Design cover art for a CD

10. make a pin/button

11. Work tech on a movie set

12. learn a song to play on guitar

13. Write for a Zine

14. design a tattoo

15. Read in a park

16. Become good enough at spinning poi that I can try it with fire

17. Read every book published by Jane Austen

18. Touch a pyramid

19. Go backpacking in Southeast Asia

20. finish my Altered Book

        

 

3.5.08

     Planes

          The day I grew up was the day that I heard a whirling sound from outside my bedroom window, and I thought we were under nuclear attack. I live on a flight route to a nearby airport, so lights and sounds coming from the sky are not uncommon, but this particular night sounded very realistic. Or at least, how I would imagine it would sound.

         I knew I had grown up when, instead of panicking, I took a few moments to accept what was happening, and then rolled over in bed, convinced that, since there was nothing else to do, worrying was unnecessary. I decided, in a manner of seconds, that I would wait a few minutes to see what would happen, and then if I could, I would take whatever emergency instinct humans develop in times of crisis and worry about survival when the time came.

         I pray every day that children won't grow up thinking that way. It seems like younger children are maturing so much faster then my peers and myself had to, and I'm not very far away from the "growing up" stage. In fact, I remember clearly when I began to think certain things about the world, when I began to notice the "state of affairs" and lose my trust in most media. I hope that despite all of the things happening in politics, in the economy, and in the news, children will be able to get a few more years out of innocence before they join the ranks among the rest of us.

         A teacher of mine says that with any luck, we all maintain a small child inside of us. I believe that to be true. I also believe that my generation is losing sight of that child sooner then our parents did, and the children after us are losing those inner kids even sooner then we did.

         A lot of things worry me about the world, and for some reason, even though I have no control over it, it is the cumulative loss of innocence we seem to be experiencing as a society that worries me the most on those nights when I do nothing but listen to the planes overhead, wondering what is going on so many miles above the surface.

-Onyx

3.2.08

     Whoops

          I'm Back! Sorry for the prolonged absence!

          I've been really busy with a lot of stuff these last few weeks, and as much as I wanted to post and tell the World Wide Web all about them, I also needed to find some time to sleep. So I'm well rested, but this website's been neglected for nearly a month.

          To be fair, I must add that posting is most likely going to be lax for the next two weeks as well, because I am working on Stage Crew for a local theatre until Saturday and then on Monday night (i.e. Tuesday morning) I am supposed to be heading down to Florida for a few days. Remember that you love me, and then put the bricks down please.

          In other, less offending, news; I've been doing a lot of reading in the 10-15 minute spurts of downtime I've found hiding under rocks and swept into crevices. I've read both A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving and The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. I'd recommend them both. They are two vastly different books, in both writing style, length, and plot, but if you have the time, definitely give them a shot. Maybe when I come back, I'll do a write-up about each of them.

 

 

2.12.08

     Consistency, Please

         Last week it was in the 60's, mildly sunny. The birds were starting to make a re-appearance and the kids playing at the playground across the street had more energy in their voices then I've heard in a long time.

         Today it was in the 30's with snow, sleet, ice, and rain. Everything is gray, like ash, and no one has the time to look around because we're all too busy trying to duck away from nature's withering glare. I haven't seen anyone playing outside today.

          I could just scream.

 

2.4.08

     Extending Your Music Library

         Seventeen songs you should check out if you haven't already:

1. Under The Milky Way- The Church

2. Oedipus- Regina Spektor

3. These Are The Nights- Making April

4. I Lose It All Inside- Spencerlane

5. Play Three Again- Backseat Goodbye

6. Saint John- Cold War Kids

7. Piano Song- Meiko

8. Arabian Love Song- The Slowest Train In The World

9. Catch 22- Wine Stained Lips

10. Pantomime- Jade of Days

11. Jerusalem- Dan Bern

12. Let The Truth Sting- David Gray

13. Dogs- Damien Rice

14. Wa Winjigo Ero- Ayub Ogada

15. Eurydice- Sleepthief

16. Some Senseless Day- The Reputation

17. Leave The Light On- My Little Radio

Just thought they deserved to be revealed to the knowledge of the public, if they haven't already. Enjoy!

P.S. Most of these songs can be found on Purevolume, others on Youtube.

UPDATE! First ever Self Portrait Challenge is up!

2.2.08

    Hibernation: Over!

         Thanks for sticking with my days of silence. I'm getting better now, so we can return to our previously scheduled program sans "The Weepies"

        Today's list: inanimate objects I would have liked to have as best friends (and why):

                        - My Black Converse (we could stay up all night telling jokes about my clumsiness, fantasize about the different geographies of far-off places, and discuss the fashions of shoelaces.)

                       - The Amethyst Ring I Inherited from my Grandmother ( S/he could tell me stories about what it was like being an intimate part of my grandmother's life, and we would have something close by to talk about her whenever we needed to.)

                       - My Alarm Clock ( We could laugh about my half-asleep delusions when he buzzes every morning, and we could spend the days counting internals of eight, mimicking the snooze alarm.)

                      - A Pen I Took From Work ( She could inspire me with how hardworking she's been, leaving trails bound to the wishes of anyone who picks her up. She could tell me about the places she's traveled, contracts she's signed and is bound to (she owns seven houses and a pony she's never met) and how it feels to be an advertising ploy for a drug company. Her story is a tale of sadness, hope, and inspiration.)

1.27.08

   The Sad List

        I've been feeling sort of sad lately. Not the wallowing, depressed, sort of sad, but a lingering sad that stems from more of an accumulation of random things than anything else. But because I have no where else to put it, I figured the internet was probably the best place.

     1. Over the summer I agreed to watch a friend's fish for 6-7 month. I've grown pretty attached to him, and I have to give him back sometime this week. While I've already made arrangements to go out and buy another fish, I know that it isn't going to be the same and I'm going to miss the little guy.

     2. Angelique's blog, which is so well-written, funny, and touching.

     3. The spring is no closer to getting here then I want it to be. As I expressed yesterday, I need to get out and walk around, but it really just isn't as pleasant when your nose is numb and your eyeballs have frozen into place.

     4. I've begun to realize that I'm not half as mature as I need to be for most of the larger changes happening in my life, and I'm starting to worry panic.

     5. I don't feel very creative anymore, I need to rejuvenate my writing/beading/painting zest but I can't figure out how.

     I'm really hoping that this is just a passing thing, and I've been trying very hard to stay positive because all in all, most of this list consists of small things that have very little (and in the case of #2, nothing) to do with me, or things that are out of my control or will pass in time. I suppose as the week goes by I'll just keep thinking about moonlight and  kittens and that plot outline for my story that just needs a little tweaking and then will be good to go.

-Onyx

1.26.08

    Suddenly Out of It.

         I only walked in my door ten minutes ago, and already I have the need to wander. I want to wake up before the sun rises and watch the sky, or watch as the stars fade with the light. I want to study the moon while it dances from one side of the sky to the other. I want to spend the night sitting outside, just watching, not trapped by distractions. Just the cold, cold air and the biggest field we have.

1.23.08

     Me and Amazon, we're tight.

         I love ordering things off of Amazon.com. I do it often, and more times then not I praise the Amazon gods when my shipment arrives with amazing timing and pizzazz. But I have always tried to buy things from Amazon itself, not from the independent sellers on the site, because as far as internet shipping goes, I am never sure where the trust level is for that sort of thing. I can never tell if private Amazon stores are like, those tiny stalls in the center of the mall where you can buy things that you won't find in the other stores, or like those shady jacket-salesmen trying to sell watches made of a wrench and a broken paperclip. But I had a gift certificate, and I needed an Ipod cover, so I went for it.

         So far, so good. The shipment came in within a week, prolonged by the holiday weekend, no doubt. I received precisely what was in the photo, and all seems to be fair thus far.

1.22.08

     5 Cool Things That People Do...

        To make me think that humanity may not be completely flawed.       

         1.  Give patronage to private businesses instead of corporations when its affordable.

         2.  Pay tolls for the random car behind them.

         3.  Teach other people a hobby of theirs because they're eager to learn.

         4.   Show children patience and kindness.

         5.  Create art to produce positive thoughts about our earth.

 

         I hope that when the opportunities arise, I can/will contribute. 

(ed. note) 6.  Not kill me because I tend to panic when my ducks forget why I lined them up in a row oh-so-sweetly and I threaten death on other people's family members. Its not so cool, and I should work on that.

1.21.08

    Crummy Cramming.

          I have exams this week. It isn't an incredibly stressful schedule, but its always a bit of a challenge, cramming an entire semester of information into an hour or so of testing. I've gotten pretty used to exams at this point, so I usually revert to the same typical actions when this week comes up; junk food, comfy clothing, old music, random spurts of exercise-like activity, caffeine binges, and other hermit-like activities. The dashboard of my laptop becomes filled with reference-esque websites such as dictionary.com, wikipedia, and google (plus, you know, youtube) and my bed is covered with a semester's worth of worksheets that I most likely never even looked at before shoving them into that special hole in the wall I keep for storing things like my sanity and the lyrics to "baby I love your way".

          Maybe I'll post again once I get my nose free from this book its stuck it. We'll see.

-Onyx

1.17.08

    Life After People

          My Dad instilled a love of history into me when I was growing up. As far back as I can remember, he would take my brother and I into Philadelphia or Washington or New York on the weekends and we would tour different museums. Sometimes we'd go to a natural history museum, or a science museum, or an art museum. But my favorites were always the history museums. I loved learning about the different cultures, the people, and how the world fit itself together and created a balance of so many different elements. How we, as people, have manipulated nature and tweaked the Earth to meet out needs has always seemed intensely interesting.

         Both my dad and myself are looking forward to a show the History Channel is coming out with on Sunday; Life After People. It shows what the world would be like if people were removed from it (sort of like we blipped off the radar- no intense disaster necessary). Its a perfect mixture of what People have contributed to the planet, in juxtaposition to what we've taken away and what will come back. My favorite scenes from the previews are the ones that show animals living in the buildings we created- manipulating our world to their needs, much like we did to theirs so many years ago.

 

 

        

1.16.08

    Five Items That Are Pretty AND Amazing

         If you take a little trip over to Etsy.com, you'll find about a million things people are making and selling that are absolutely gorgeous. Sort of like a window shopper, I'm pointing out things that I like and would buy, given that I actually had cash.

Anatomy - Head or Heart - Pinback Button  Head or Heart Anatomy Pins

Hand Painted Poppies Card

"Silver" Earrings

Lemony Lime - Sterling Wrapped Fused Glass Pendant - EGA Fused Glass Pendant

Hand-bound Leather Journal

1.13.08

     Realization

          Towards the beginning of last week some of the most amazing weather misted through my little town. Most of those days were spent filming a video for a few friends, who needed extra actors for a class grade. On the first of those days two of us weren't needed for a few scenes, so we sat in a car with the windows rolled down while the sun set and geese rested on a creek that hadn't melted yet. It struck me how beautiful it was, in a place that I have been a million times before. I've begun to realize that everything has the power to be beautiful, so long as I'm willing to take the time to notice it.

      -Onyx

 1.8.08

     Mondo Beyondo List: Part One         

1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2007?
       Last year I was finally able to find and acknowledge God and the role that he played in my life. When a family member died in 2002, I stopped believing in God and spent the next 4-5 years convincing myself that God didn't exist, that I was on my own and the most I could do was love myself and nature and others and try to get on with life as best as I could. I'm not sure what changed, but I was able to open myself up to the possibility of religion and while I still struggle with some concepts (previous to my disbelief, I didn't have much religious experience to begin with.) I'm proud to at least be able to say that I was able to find something to believe in. The concept of faith may not be lost on me completely, and I feel as if that may be a small sort of accomplishment.

2. What is there to grieve about 2007?
       2007 was a year of intense stress and worry. My workload intensified extraordinarily, and for the first time I felt what stress was really like. Simultaneously, my cousin was diagnosed with Leukemia and spent the summer undergoing chemo treatments while the family hung on to every piece of news that we could accumulate.  I worry about him just like everyone else. So I suppose I'm grieving the negative energy of last year, and I hope that this coming year proves to be better in the health and happiness of my family.

3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?

       While a lot of the concerns and worries that started in 2007 are carrying over into 2008, I think that 2007 being put to rest will remove a lot of the bad energy, and allow new energy to come into my life. 2007 was a year of growth, maturity, and many learning experiences for me. I treasure every one of the lessons that I learned, and I look forward to applying those lessons to my life in 2008 and beyond.

         I feel safe in declaring 2007 complete!

For other examples of a mondo beyondo list, check out Superhero Journal and Boho Girl!

 

         

 

1.4.08

     Bucket Lists

         I spent New Years Eve out with a group of friends in a local coffee house. Ten minutes to midnight, we each made a Bucket List- a group of things we wanted to do before we died. Here's mine:

         1. Go to Kenya, India, or Cambodia

         2. Knit a Scarf

         3. Learn Thai

         4. Take a roadtrip

         5. Live in a city

         6. Live in a foreign country

         7. Make something I can feel proud of

         8. Get a college degree

         9. Find the meaning of life!*

         10. See a wonder of the world

         11. Go to the Sundance film festival.

         12. Go to South by Southwest

         13. Send a PostSecret!

         14. Be a vegetarian

         15. Learn to cook with tofu

         16. write a positive poem

* I wrote this down as a joke to myself- the meaning of life is a personal decision, whose definition is defined by the reaching of that decision and what is done with the decision once you've come to it. I found the meaning of my life as I live it right now... but if that changes, my goal is to find the courage to be able to understand, comprehend, and accept the new meaning, even if the changes I'll have to make are inconvenient.

 

 

12.29.07

           Its almost impossible to believe that 2008 is right around the corner. I'd say that 2007 went by So! Fast! and it's just Unbelievable! but honestly, this may have been the busiest year of my life, and I'm a little bit ready to put it to the past. For starters, this was the year of my first-ever internship, which ate my entire summer in a whirlwind of self-help and information. I absolutely loved the entire experience, but I didn't actually catch a break until the end of November, around Thanksgiving, so I was pretty much ready for that curl-up-into-a-ball-and-cry, thing. November was also the month of a million papers, applications, and planning-for-the-rest-of-my-life. Honestly, I'm not exactly ready to stamp out an answer every time someone asks me what I want to do with my life.

    Which brings us to December, the month of not knowing what I wanted to do anymore, doubting my choices, and pretty much preparing to quit this whole school business, join a band of traveling circus clowns, and going through life by the seat of my pants, which would have been great pair with the hyperventilation when I realized that I probably couldn't make a to-do list for that sort of thing.

    So, with a new year coming, even though I don't entirely believe in the "New Year, New Person" philosophy that seems to be adopted around this time of year, I'm going to take a deep breath. 2008 is not going to mean change in my personality, I'm not going to cure world hunger or find a new species of beetle under my couch. But I'm trying to remind myself, that as the years pass I do get older, and with age comes a larger responsibility towards keeping the grip on reality that I tend to loose what I get freaked out.

    I mean, when someone asks what I want to do with my life, it's easy to just give the answer that has been programmed into my head; "I want to go into _________, so that I can do __________."

    But how terrible would it be if one day I just said that I didn't know? That I have an entire lifetime ahead of me, and that I want to do as many things as I possibly can with my time? Sure, I want to get X degree and work in Y field, but I also want to do other things like open a beading, book, or coffee shop. Or write a book even if it can't get published, or learn how to spin poi and finally pull over onto the side of that highway and photograph the way the smoke from the oil refinery catches the sunset and creates a really cool perspective, even though it hurts the environment. I want to do so much, and I think it should be okay that the course of the rest of my life isn't describable in a single complex sentence that includes my profession at the end.

12.9.07

    Creative Development?

        I can't seem to be able to trust my inner self right now. The peace that I once felt has begun to ebb away recently, and I'm afraid of how long it will be gone. Its frustrating, trying to unite yourself while still outwardly reflecting a self-awareness that barely exists.

        But at the same time, I've found happiness in finding the ability to just go with things. I have found a group of people who I love and trust and feel safe being around. I am happy surrounding myself with them and the people who have made me unhappy for so long are now so far from my life that I can barely consider them any sort of threat anymore.

        Maybe this is all a part of these intense changes I feel happening in my life; my life's direction is changing and my focus is shifting. Perhaps all that I need is to accept that things are changing, that I am changing, and figure out how to enjoy those changes.

-Onyx

12.4.07

    Predicting A Warning

        I have become the filter through which drama is poured, weeded out, and decided upon. Despite my own dramatic personality, my respect for intricate conflict, I continue to be the place where is drama is fed. People want answers, and more often then not, I am expected to have them.

        Subsequently, many days pass where I feel disconnected. Everyone is their story. She is upset because of this, show her comfort. He needs to be held, his own world can't contain him anymore, help him find his way. I feel blessed that I am looked to, but when my own world has entered flux, I realize that I am merely a portal, a filter, a place for the drama to go until it can be passed on.

        To protect my senses, to keep them from dulling into those pencil tips abandoned in the tin trash bins at the fringes of classrooms, I ignore the subtle. They are noticed, those looks of frustration, the lack of directness. The bubble around me, smaller but with an increased density, only obliges the loud cries; things of outrage and spite.

        There is an excellent chance that this entry makes no sense. But I am not here to tell a story, only relate to you the emotions behind the story. I get the feeling now that it is not the plot that is important, as its the development of the character that the reader will bring home and cherish against their pillow cases at the end of a long day.

        It has been a long day.

-Onyx

P.S. I will try to promise a much more lucid entry for you soon.

12.2.07

    Why A Makeover May Have Been A Bad Idea

        Last week I updated my favorites list of blogs on my laptop. Part of this process entailed the checking of every website in order to find the ones that still existed, or had at least posted once since the day I had found it(over a year ago, in many cases). This went along for a good twenty minutes, sans shenanigans. But that is not the story I'm telling. The story I'm going to tell involves sadness, crushed dreams, and internet cruelty. Until the end, that is. The end isn't so bad. But, without further ado, the story (technically, you were reading the prologue!):

                                                                                    Miguel By Onyx

        When I originally started to blog, there was a wonderfully charming blog about a guy who was getting ready to propose to his girlfriend. He kept the site up through the proposal, photos of the ring, and designs for the house they were building together. Then something happened, I'm not sure what, but my computer couldn't get onto the site anymore. I shrugged it off, and forgot about it until my cleaning the other week. I clicked the link, because the forthcoming apocalypse was unbeknownst to my person. Upon clicking the link, my internet went into a frazzled seizure, and then promptly shut down, freezing every other program I had opened and then vomited on my cat. It was unpleasant, and sort of mean.

        So the next day, after summing up the courage to not only re-open the internet but to actually allow my mouse cursor to rest above the offending link, I tried to delete the site from my files.

        Well what do you know! Satan apparently had big plans for the link, because instead of right-clicking, my hand mysteriously slid onto the left-button-clicker, and the apocalypse re-hashed itself in all of it's former glory. I gave up with tears of frustration, and then ran off to hide my cat. She's frightened and smelly, but overall okay.

        Finally, tonight, I took advantage of it being within a half hour of the holiest day of the week and attempted to delete the link for a third time. It finally worked, and I must say, it was quite nice to hear the virtual sigh from my computer as well as the simultaneous reappearance of my cat.

                                                                                      The End.

-Onyx

12.1.07

    Days

        I have to change my calendar today. I have to give this new set of days a different title; an order of un-sameness tucked away from the rest. But The Rest comes in other increments, so "the rest" can barely be categorized together.

        We number our days so they can feel separate. If we didn't, how often would we just be repeating the same patterns, over and over? The difference between Tuesday and Wednesday is nothing more then the names their given, maybe the weather. But those patterns don't change, the patterns that I used to fight before I became too weary to try and examine them.

        I'm fighting a new fight now, the fight against allowing myself to get caught up in the patterns. Every day is different, and its one day less that I have. Even something so small as realizing the wind is brushing the trees aside to a different direction, a different place; or even the leaves on a tree were a shade darker the day before, and now sunlight has brightened them. I need to notice these things more often then I am. I need to take the next step in observation, and stop noticing things when I choose to see them, and begin to recognize where the pattern ends naturally.

        For the first time in my life, I have a new years resolution before the year has ended.

 

-Onyx

11.25.07

    Routine

        This morning I decided to go through all of the files in my internet favorites dedicated to blogs. There are quite a few, you see, more than I've ever blogged about. There are about one hundred blogs filed away on my laptop; most of which I don't read anymore.

        They were categorized in a pretty terrible way; 5 star, 4 star, 3 star, 2 star, 1 star, extra. This actually had nothing to do with how good the blogs were, just how often I read them. For example: PostSecret, which I think is one of the most amazing blogs ever, is under 4 stars, because I only read the site once or twice a week. But what ended up happening, was I began to only read blogs in the 5 star and 4 star category. Not even all of them, I have reached the point where on a daily basis I read three blogs from 5 star and two from 4, merely because of time.

        Lately, I have been thinking about my life and how dependant I've become on routine. My new routines have covered up the old ones, creating subsystems I can't recognize because I don't pay enough attention to them. My CD player is a pivotal part of my bedroom, because I balance a lot of my stuff around it. But I've only used it once or twice in the last six months, because I don't have CDs of my music, its all mpeg4 on itunes, or stuck in youtube. So I've gotten used to coming to my laptop for music, and last night when I decided to use the CD player, I realized that I could barely make the remote function.

        Every time I log online, I check certain websites in a particular order and then re-check them in an order similar to the first. My life is ordered and categorized into necessity. This weekend was a long weekend, I had nowhere that I had to be, and I was nearly bored out of my mind because I didn't have any structure to follow. This is upsetting to me, because I don't want to live like a robot, some drone going from point A to point B because that's where the footprints from the day before are heading. 

        So I think I'm going to start a new project; creativity. I know that I am a creative person, I'm not going to pretend that I am not. I am creative, sensitive, slightly pretentious, and growing tired of the way that I've been doing things. The time has come for me to re-evaluate some things. I need to put more energy into living creatively and uninhibited, while spending less time allowing myself to fall into a subconsciously laid routine.

 

                    I guess I'll let you know how it goes,

                                    -Onyx

11.19.07

    Stimulation

                 Looking back, it's interesting recalling this website's ups and downs.

                Last year I started the website up again after a two month break, inspired by a recent relationship disaster that I mentioned but tried not to make too public. It had been the worst breakup I'd ever experienced, and I didn't know how to handle it. Luckily my "creative" side has always been stronger then my weepy side, so blogging was pretty consistent for awhile. I met another guy, dated him for bit- he was mentioned on the site, I'm sure. He was an avid reader- but when we broke up, I didn't write for a few weeks to be fair to him. I didn't want my feelings popping up on something he could come across and be hurt by. So I decided to give it some time before I wrote again. I was ready to start posting by Mid- May. Until my computer broke, that is. That kept me away until October.

        Now up until this point I was under the impression that I had no readers- that my website was pretty much skimmed while people were looking for something crazy like a black necklace or a loony bin to store a really old uncle or two. This was actually, and still is, true for the most part. But around July or August I got a single comment in my comment box. Someone was voicing their disappointment in the site, saying that they expected more from me. Now, my first reaction went something like this-

        "$%@@#@#%@$*&@*$%$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

        and then I thought about it for a few minutes, and I changed my mind. I realized that to be disappointed, there had to have been expectations to begin with! Someone had expected something from this website! How exciting! Of course, I had completely annihilated that expectation when about 101 teeny, tiny viruses multiplied inside my computer, resulting in literally having to wipe everything off of the hard drive. But the realization that at one point, someone had come to the site and liked it, (unless of course, it was just a random joke, that's totally possible) was pretty satisfying.

        So I'm not going to say that I'm trying to build readership back up. Not that it wouldn't be nice, having someone to read this, because for right now the site averages about 9 hits a day, including me and some friends. So for the four of you out there who are popping by and possibly even liking what you see- do me a favor? Let me know. Don't tell me until I've disappointed you that you're here. Not only does it make me a sad panda, but that makes you one interesting lurker reader. But anyway, I digress. My point was that I'm not going to start commenting random myspaces telling them to check the site, because above all this is a creative space. I've used it after breakups, through frustrations, and moments of pure happiness. I may get frustrated that it feels as if this is going unnoticed, but everyone has to start somewhere. What's important is that I have an outlet. These upcoming months, while busy, will hopefully be full of posts and maybe some more poetry or photography.  So if you're a reader, or a lurker, or even just looking for a place for uncle Mcmurphy, I hope your enjoying yourself. I'm having a good time with all of this, I hope you all are too.

-Onyx

11.18.07

    Relief

        I've written before about my complete lack of time when it comes to this little thing I like to call life. Things have nearly begun to slow down- not quite, but slow enough- and for the first weekend in many weeks, I have found myself able to take a deep breath and relax.

        Instead of running around like a nut, today I woke up at eleven thirty, barely able to believe that I had slept so long. My cat was sleeping next to me, her tiny head in my right hand. She snores. I find it endearing; her tiny kitty-cat snores sound just like a small child in a peaceful sleep. Instead of waking her I watched the morning light on my wall, deciding what I needed to do. Only a small bit of things- clean some fish tanks and tidy this or that- otherwise, I was free to spend my day reading.

        Tonight I went to a local cafe. Now, I am not anti-starbucks. Not anymore, at least. Once they begin to pay the farmers that they bought their coffee from a livable wage, I was much more willing to give them my patronage. But this cafe is only a few blocks away, and it's a nice place. Perhaps a tad masculine for my personal tastes, but since it's owned by two men, it shouldn't be much of a shock. What matters is that the...barista? (I'm not sure) is one of the nicest, friendliest people on the face of this planet. She has remembered my order from the previous week every time I've gone in, as well as the people I was with and what had been going on that night. She chit-chats about the cafe events and sometimes she'll joke with me and my friend about one thing or another. She's chatty, and I absolutely love that. It throws me off guard sometimes, because truth be told I can be less then amiable in public- people make me hideously nervous- but its nice that there's a person around that has the time to be nice.

    So I ordered a latte, sat with two friends, and listened to amazing music while flipping through some magazines. I must admit, they were political magazines, and my friends found me to be completely geeky, but what can I really do? We stayed until closing, tidied our messes, and went home.

    The television at home was left unused, and unwilling to let it remain lonely, I popped in a movie. Something senseless, because I wasn't about to disturb my inner peace by watching another mind-twister like Waking Life, which was life-altering and amazing, but not a very good 'daily grind' sort of film. Instead, I watched Casino Royale, probably one of the better 007's, in my limited opinion. But then again, I'm not really a James Bond fanatic, so my opinion means pretty much zilch.

    While today was wonderful, glorious even, but I can hear the scraping footsteps of life creeping its way to my door. Tomorrow will most likely be just as busy as yesterday, and it is very probable that the insanity will not stop until after the holidays. But I will have today to look back on, and maybe that can drag me through until after christmas.

-Onyx

11.11.07

   Music Is My Boyfriend

        It's pretty easy to assume that you've all seen those commercials. Commercials pose an interesting conundrum for me; they take up a lot of time contributing to capitalism in general, and I'm not huge into the system of capitalism, as wonderful as America is. But the mentality behind them; get into the heads of the viewers, make them think how you think, and then convince them to approve of what you're selling... it seems nearly poisonous to me.

        But then look around; how much in life mimics the idea presented in a commercial? After all, isn't education itself partly centered in subliminal thinking? Group exercises, topic-related videos, and projects are all ways to put information into someone's head while meanwhile using a flashy distraction. And then there's the impossibility of wandering down a road without coming across a product. I yearn for a moment when I can go for a walk, and not find a manufactured item. But the closest I would have to look would be my own feet, or my wristwatch. Consumerism is inescapable, we've just morphed the process from necessity to desire. I don't need a wristwatch that is leather with studs and a silver face; it tells the time just like any other clock, but I was willing to pay an extra nine dollars for that watch, because it looked prettier.

        It drives me crazy that I have allowed myself to feed into consumerism.

        Almost as crazy as my inability to keep a working wristwatch.

 

-Onyx

10.31.07

   The Hellish Wait.

            I decided to spend halloween at a church. In retrospect, this was a silly idea. But at the time, I had a pretty short list of plusses:

                        1. It was free

                        2. It was called "Halloween Hell House", which had to be something good-right?

                        3. I had nothing better to do.

            So as you've probably already guessed, one of the 7 churches in my town decided to host a Halloween "hell house" in celebration of this joyous holiday. Which seemed cool. And, it was free. Did I mention the free? Because that was definitely it's largest draw.

            I didn't know that by "Hell House", they meant "Step through the doors to this house and we'll tell you all the different ways you can go to hell! And then we'll show you how much it'll suck!"

            But that's totally what it meant. It also meant a 2 hour wait, some smelly fellow line-waiters, and a 7 foot tall cross with Jesus and the voice of god speaking to me from a stereo system.

            Honestly, I can't think of any better way to spend my Halloween.

10.26.07

    Hmmm....

            Wow, I'm already neglecting the website. That didn't take very long now, did it?

             It's been pretty dismal around here. A  lot of rain and wind and cloudiness.... the hems of my jeans may never dry. It would probably be peaceful, if I had the time to stop and pay attention to the sounds, the smells. I used to love the rain. I would go for walks in it; flip-flops and jeans and maybe a sweatshirt if it was cold. The rain would drip from my hair and linger on the collar of my shirt, off my nose and onto the cement. There's a basketball court across the street; I would stand in the thunderstorms and watch the lightening streak across the sky, not minding that I had made myself a living target. In my room, the rain seems to come at me from all sides; particularly from the glass on the windowpane. Instead of the sound putting me to sleep, I would feel alive. My writing would clarify and suddenly I could see what I needed to see.

             I want the time to notice all of those things again.

  

10.15.07

      A conflict of Interests.

            As I've mentioned before, I am a member of an anti-tobacco organization which promotes the healthy lifestyle choice of being smoke-free. This group has been incredibly active in making the state I live in "Smoke-free". This means no smoking in restaurants, bars, and soon enough, casinos. Now, I'm also a follower of the ACLU's activities, and I put a lot of faith in the American constitution. So when the anti-tobacco organization presented an interest in making it illegal to smoke in a car with a minor under the age of 16 inside, I was more then a little unsure. Surely telling an individual that they cannot use a legal product they own, inside of another product they own, because of the presence of another individual, is unconstitutional through the interpretation of Amendment I? Not to mention, Amendment IV states that we as citizens have the right "to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects against unreasonable searched and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue." A.k.a. you cannot go somewhere looking for one item, and then persecute the individual if you find another in their search. So if this pending law becomes a secondhand offense, meaning you can be ticketed for a traffic violation and then further fined for smoking with a minor in the vehicle, then the reason for being pulled over will have little to do with the other violation in motion.

            Of course, let me clarify myself in saying that I disagree with smoking in a vehicle with children inside. Cigarette smoke has always bothered my throat and eyes, particularly in an enclosed environment. So I understand where this legislation is coming from, but I still feel that in implementing it, we are bypassing parts of our constitution. Of course, we are being governed by an administration which shows little respect for the constitution as it is, so this issue is small beans compared to our sanctions on torture and the continued suspension of Habeas Corpus. But it's still something. You can take a hammer and break away at a wall, or you can take a thumbtack and do the same thing. Maybe the damage doesn't look the same from far away, but damage is being done. And maybe if we stopped ignoring the tinier inconsistencies, the larger ones wouldn't leak through in alarming occurrences.

            Perhaps we should re-evaluate ourselves before that whole idea of freedom we put so much faith into gets ripped out from under us, and the only thing we can think to do is wonder what that bump we tripped over on the way down the hall was.

               

10.14.07

        Afterwards we made a Code and shot a monkey

            Have I mentioned yet that I am a relatively new driver? This has little to do with my age and much more to do with the fact that I took my good ol' time getting behind the wheel. But there's a license in my wallet now, and it says that as long as I stick to the roads and on my side of the white line, I can navigate the state (between my previously state-sanctioned hours, of course). Granted, I don't own a car just yet, so my driving time is pretty much late afternoon into night with the use of my mother's car. The other option is a rather large, rather bulky conversion van. It's sort of like a wooly mammoth, except it doesn't shed and it only excretes ozone-layer damage in the stead of other....unsatisfactory things. But alas, I digress.

                So Saturday I had made plans with my friend Edward to grab some Chinese and hit the seasonal Halloween store. It rolls around towards the end of August and stays until a few weeks after Halloween selling things for the general price of an old toenail clipping. After waiting an extra eternity for Edward to primp and get himself over to the house, we piled into the mammoth and he watched as I navigated to lunch. It wasn't too awful, until I had to park.

                The area nearest to the Chinese food restaurant was densest in terms of parking. Tiny Hondas (which I could have crushed like ants if I so desired) crowded every other space, while work trucks more talented then I squeezed into the spots left over. I quickly weighed the risks, particularly since I've already done some vehicular damage due to poor parking judgment. My solution? To park as far away from the crowded spaces as possible...a place we like to call Sweden.

                Of course, the act of parking involved Edward getting out of the van and signaling as if he worked for air traffic control until I managed to get into the spot. Three inches one way, two inches the other, a millisecond into the future, you get the picture. It only took a few minutes, despite the feeling of tedium. However, the feeling of success was pretty great after we finally maneuvered the best correctly. Although this feeling faded somewhat when we realized we still had a twenty minute walk to actually get to our destination.

                                                        Book of the Week

                ( I read a lot, Book of the Month seemed a little silly. So we're gonna do Book of the Week. The Book of the Week is a book (duh) that I've come across which is completely amazing and therefore deemed worth your while by Onyx. )

                                                                    The Silenced by James DeVita

                   I picked this book up off the new releases in Barnes and Noble last night. I was drawn to picking it up off the shelf for three main reasons- A. Its bright orange and was sitting in-between two black books and a white one. It was pretty eye-popping. Plus, the cover art was pretty awesome (yes, I understand the implications of cover-judging and that most authors have no control over the covers). B. It said "a novel" on the cover- this meant the odds of it being part of a 15 book multi-series (which I do not have the space or money to buy after spending a collective million dollars on the Harry Potter series) were pretty slim. C. the words Gossip Girl did not appear anywhere on the cover, which had been the theme of this particular Barnes & Noble teen section(They were everywhere! Spaced by only books by Meg Cabot and gimmick-ridden Vampire novels looking to reap the success accumulating between Anne Rice and Stephenie Meyer).

                   Anyway, I picked it up and prepared myself for a story that was probably about high school rebellion against mean teachers and the "popular kids". I must say, I was pleasantly surprised. No- more then that, I was ecstatic to realize that this book was a dystopian novel! About real rebellion- the kind that had more to do with civil rights and government sanctions and underground movements. I was addicted. Even the orange cover, a tone that I had never seen in advertising before but enjoyed immensely, seemed significant in the book's overall message. It was supposed to stand out! The book grew on me immediately, and I had trouble putting it down from the moment I opened it.

                I finished it a few hours ago, and I've immediately started to read it again- to experience the novel without the rush of figuring out what happens to the characters. Its a good way to pick up on all of the amazing details. Anyway, I highly recommend this book. Buy it, read it, and then learn the back story. This book represents true occurrences, and an important part of human history. Don't miss out! "You have no right to be silenced!" (back cover).

                Oh, and I'd probably buy as many installments DeVita came out with, 15 book multi-series or not.

-Onyx

          

10.13.07

            Wow. Hello Everyone! How long has it been? Almost seven months since my last post. I understand many of you were frustrated, particularly with the techorati profile mess virtually vomiting across your monitor. Let me offer a small explanation for this unfortunate event;

                                                            My laptop died.

                Not only did it die, but it threatened to take every file, downloaded song, and photograph with it. Among the hostages? This website. I managed to save everything, but much of my laptop had to be re-created after "blowing away" everything. This included the "hookup" between  where this site is edited and where it appears online. Well...this hookup couldn't be found once it was lost. But hey! Seven months later the scavenge has ended with much thanks to my dad, who  put everything back together with the pixie dust he keeps on the back shelf. To appease the absence, I included a complete re-model of the site to be a tad less of an eye-sore. I'm still making these changes, but I should be done soon!

                After I finish playing with the site, I'll update with some of my life's goings-ons. Until then, if you have any questions/comments, hit the "Reach Out" section.

                    -Onyx

 

 

 

Sound Byte!

5.18.08

Tonight is the celebration of Vesak, a holiday held on the first full moon of the fourth month of the Chinese calendar. This holiday is devoted to the birth, teachings, and the passing of Gautama Buddha.

3.24.08

Ten members of the Save Darfur Coalition found their computers under surveillance by China-based hackers. The Save Darfur Coalition has been putting pressure on China to crack down on Sudan about the Genocide. China has a position of power in Sudan, as it is the country's highest oil export.

It seems e-mail monitoring is an international sport these days.

Click Here For The Story

If you want to be a part of pressuring China into doing its part to end the Genocide, click here.

3.23.08

Ten days ago, a story was released covering Charles Taylor's war crimes trial. The atrocities at the hand of this man seem endless, and this disturbing news article is a mere example.

 

"Top Aide Testifies Taylor Ordered Soldiers to Eat Victims"

 

 Oxfam America banner

 

 

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 License.